Three Simple Steps for Leaders to Get Win-Win Results
It was going to be a difficult conversation. Roger was consistently underperforming after returning from medical leave three months prior. The normal course of action at this company would have been some version of "listen, this isn't working out" but the leader we worked with wanted to make sure that true care was central to how this situation was handled.
This leader wanted a solution that was best for Roger and what was best for the company. This made the leader feel stuck at first because they couldn't see success in their mind's eye.
The following three simple steps to find the 'win-win' solution worked for this leader and will work for you too.
Believe it
The leader has to believe that a win-win outcome is possible in order to go looking for one. You don't have to know what the solution is, because often, win-win solutions are not premeditated by one person, but rather co-created in real time through dialogue. You have to be committed to finding the win-win in order to have the patience to get that far in the conversation. That commitment is based on the belief that a win-win will emerge.
Name it
As the leader, it's up to you to explicitly state that finding the win-win is your goal. You could simply say, "I want to try to find the win-win here. I believe we can walk out of here with a solution that we are both truly happy with." The reason to make this intention explicit is to invite the other person into the problem-solving effort with you. If they don’t know that your intention is to help them win, too, they may not engage in a constructive way.
Co-create it
Getting to the win-win involves a transparent dialogue where the solution is built in real time, like a puzzle, as each party puts their pieces (their conditions for a "win") into the mix. It obviously can't happen if we don't say what our own 'win' is. Foster the conditions to make this transparency normal and easy for your team members.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey advocates for 'win-win' or 'no deal', making the point that playing any win-lose, lose-win, or lose-lose game is not worth one's time. We agree!
But to get to the win-win, leaders must believe it's possible (even when at first it doesn't seem so), state that commitment, and do the work to get there.
Going into the meeting, Roger was scared that he might lose his job, which he could not afford to have happen. By the end of the meeting, there were hugs and tears because he felt such relief and a deep sense of care from his leader. He understood the leader's need to find a solution that worked for the company; he hadn't felt comfortable in his position anyway, knowing he was underperforming. Changing to an easier role that worked for his medical condition was actually a win for him, too. Executed poorly, this could have been a bruise on his ego, but the honesty and care and ultimate benefit of being in a more appropriate role made those 'ego' concerns moot.
By adhering to the three steps above, a true win-win was found for both Roger and the organization.
