Shift Your Mindset to Get Better at Feedback. when done right, Feedback is a clarification – not a criticism.
As leaders, giving and receiving feedback is an essential part of our work, but many of us skirt around it because we're afraid, or have had negative experiences with it in the past. That’s valid.
We can responsibly engage in healthier feedback conversations with tools like the COINS framework, but first we need to establish a more neutral mindset for how we view feedback. That will help us get more comfortable with giving and receiving it.
When we consistently practice feedback and view it as “feeding back” our lived experiences, feedback can become a source of meaning, connection and growth among teams. When we avoid feedback, tension builds and relationships calcify in unproductive and painful ways.
Feedback is a muscle that needs to be trained, and it all starts with mindset. Learn how to approach feedback to achieve better relationships where feedback can flow freely and easily. We promise it’s possible!
“Feedback isn’t inherently positive or negative, but our ego likes to label it as one or the other.
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5 Important Mindset Shifts for Effective Feedback
Feedback is not inherently a criticism. It's actually a clarification on how someone is experiencing you through their own viewpoint.
When done well, feedback is:
A two-way dialogue or exchange of information where both sides listen deeply to each other rather than a one-sided lecture.
Inherently subjective, representing the limited perceptions of the giver’s experience. It is not a referendum on you.
A vulnerable process which opens the door to deeper understanding, connection and cohesion.
Information that you can choose to work with to support your growth. Pay attention to what sparks within you when you receive feedback - insight or defensiveness.
An opportunity for direct clarity and connection rather than decoding passive hints.
How to Approach Feedback as a Giver or Receiver
When you succeed at feedback, the dialogue will be focused on shared listening, perceptions and learning.
Insights for Feedback Givers:
Recognize the vulnerability and courage that sharing feedback takes.
Prepare a preamble to help you open the conversation well.
Structure your feedback using the COINS method.
Consider addressing your feedback as an exploratory question rather than a fixed opinion.
Leave space to clarify, repair misunderstandings and process emotions.
Insights for Feedback Receivers:
Focus on understanding what the giver is saying.
Take notes on the feedback you’re hearing. This will help you externalize it so that you don’t take it too personally in the moment.
Ask questions if the feedback is unclear so you can truly understand.
Takeaways for a Better Feedback Mindset
Improving our feedback conversations as leaders starts with shifting our mindset and practicing it weekly. Feedback is muscle that needs to be routinely exercised to maintain team cohesion, rather than something to save for a mid-year review or when things get “really bad”.
When done well, feedback is a huge gift leaders can offer to their team as it benefits work relationships. If we start seeing feedback as a doorway to a better future, we’ll be more open to giving and receiving regularly.
Need support shifting your mindset around feedback? A great way to start is a training session combined with a facilitated feedback session.
