Dealing with a workplace rupture? Here's how you can repair relationships and trust.
“The health of your relationship is not determined by the rupture, but by the repair that happens after. ”
Ruptures happen in every close working relationship.
They can create distance and disconnection between you and a colleague, along with feelings of frustration, hurt, and anger. Thankfully, the health of your relationship is not determined by the rupture, but by the repair that happens after.
In coaching conversations, I hear leaders say: “I just push down and push through.” It can feel easier to ignore a rupture than to sit in the discomfort, name what happened, and initiate repair.
Healthy leaders do the opposite by inviting it and modeling what dignified conflict resolution looks like for their team.
If you’re experiencing a workplace rupture and want to live in better alignment with your leadership values, here is a practical 3-step approach to repair.
Three Steps to Relationship Repair: A Learned Leadership Skill
After emotions have settled, and you’ve had a moment to regulate, consider using this practical three-step approach to repair the relationship.
Step 1: Acknowledge the Impact
Name what happened and acknowledge with empathy how it felt for the other person without defending yourself. (yes, we know that's so hard!)
Empathy does not mean you agree. It means you recognize their experience.
You might say:
“I can see that what I said hurt you.”
“I understand now how that felt dismissive.”
Step 2: Take Responsibility and Apologize
Own the impact of your actions, not your intent.
It’s easy to think, “But I didn’t do anything wrong” or "That wasn't my intention."
When we deny our impact, we deny the other person’s reality. A genuine apology communicates: Your experience matters to me.
You might say:
“I’m sorry that my actions caused you to feel disrespected.”
“You didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry.”
Step 3: Repair Forward
Repair is not just about the past. It’s about restoring safety for the future.
Listen to their experience and ask what you can do differently moving forward.
You might say:
“How can we move forward from here?”
“What would feel different or better next time?”
Workplace Rupture and Repair Takeaways for Leaders
As a leader, your colleagues trust that you will see them, value them, and treat them with dignity.
Repair is how you honor that trust.
By choosing to repair after a workplace rupture, you set the standard for your team. You model to them how to handle conflict with care, accountability, and humanity, and in doing so, make it possible to move forward together.
Rupture repair is a learned leadership skill. If you’d like support in strengthening this skill with your team, book a consultation.
