How to Ask a “Coaching” Question

Yes, I’m a professional coach who is paid to execute coaching skills and has worked to protect and enhance the standards for professional coaching. And, I am also on a personal mission to get key coaching skills into the hands of all managers who want to more effectively engage and empower their people. (Quick aside — we just opened registration for the fall 2023 cohort. Reach out if you’re interested in learning more.)

Today I want to give you one little nugget that will change how you lead:

Instead of giving the answer, ask a coaching question.

Let’s start by unpacking what a coaching question is and is not.

  • A coaching question should not lead your team member toward a certain answer. The field of possible answers is open-ended.

  • A coaching question should not feel patronizing to the recipient. Base it on your genuine curiosity about they think and your sincere belief that their input is valuable and necessary.

  • A coaching question is an invitation to your team members to think through their dilemma and goals.

  • A coaching question comes from your role to bring out the best in others.

In order to ask a coaching question instead of giving an answer, you will need to change your leadership habits.

Start to notice when you might be inclined to reflexively give an answer or say what you think. If you notice only after you’ve done that, you can still back it up with “Those are my thoughts. What do you think?”

Then wait. Squirm in your chair if you have to. But wait. Your team member or stakeholder needs time to think.

It sounds pretty simple, but it’s not that easy. Here’s what you will gain by integrating coaching questions into your leadership repertoire:

  • Your stakeholders will have more ownership for the solution.

  • The solutions will be better because they will include more perspectives.

  • You will likely increase the engagement and motivation of your teammates.

Give it a try. When you notice yourself getting that feeling where you’re about to give an answer, a piece of advice, or tell someone what to do, try asking a coaching question instead.

Curious to learn more and practice this topic? Consider joining the Fall 2023 cohort of Engage.

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Why Leaders Should Know About the Phenomenon of Projection

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Employ Your Outer C.E.O to Problem Solve with Others